Vaughn Saball (countsmackula) wrote in note_to_dog,
Vaughn Saball
countsmackula
note_to_dog

Dear Scampy

Dear Scampy, my little brother, and dearest friend,
I know we don't talk as much as we used to when you were home, and I'm sorry for that.
I'm writing today to tell you that Nana and Popo will be coming to stay with you.
They both left within a couple weeks of each other.
Before Popo left he had mentioned how much he missed you and wanted to see you again.
Once the cancer took him, Nana sold the house.
Her heart just couldn't take being without you and Popo, and she followed him.
Now you will all be together again.

The house and gardens are all gone, replaced by bulldozers and piles of dirt.
Your tree, dog house, and lawn chair are gone too.
My best friend, Charles, just passed away of the same brain cancer that took Popo from me.
I took his place at his farm with his roommate, to help take care of the animals he left behind.
One by one all the animals on the farm were given away.
Chance, his favorite horse got sick and had to be put down, only a month before Charles really went down hill.
I got the call at work that he would not make it though the night, I stood with him as long as I could but then went home to tend to the animals.
He lasted 3 more days, he seemed better, but we all knew that his pancreas had failed and it was only a matter of days.
He died the day after his 49th birthday, on Canada Day of this year, July 1st.
And Duncan, my other friend, just lost his wife in december.
Not much is left here for me, and I am not sure why I have been left behind.

What triggered me to write this was a realistic dream I just had, while taking a nap after feeding Charles's last horse and donkey whom won't be here much longer as Banner (the horse) is too old to give away (49 the same age as Charles) and Donkey is going to Maine, (Banner is to be put down before winter, soon after donkey and there is nothing I can do to stop it as it is not in my hands)
Anyway, the dream was that I had woken up to voices downstairs, and as real as could be, I walked down and got to the dining room door, before I opened it I heard a familiar laugh, it was Charles's laugh...
I slowly opened the door, and my Nana, Popo, Mandy, and friend Charles were in there all were sitting accept for Charles, who was pouring wine for Mandy.
They all looked up at me and said "HEeeeEEEEY!" and beckoned me in as they would have if they were really there.
The smell of the food and sounds were so realistic, so true to life.
Then I saw you, Scampy.
You came running out from under the table, tail wagging and happy as could be, running up to greet me.
That's when I woke up, sobbing, as I am right now.
I have been reduced to a sobbing, sniveling, wreck.
I want nothing more then to be with you guys again.
I have been numbly rehearsing the day's routines and trying desperately to keep my mind occupied with simple little hobbies that are meaningless.
I don't know why I am here, but it was good to see you again my friend.
I miss you terribly and I want to hold you again.
Good bye dear friend, be good, and never forget that I will always love you.
Love, Vaughn.
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  • 2 comments
oh, i am so very very sorry for your grief and losses!!! *hugs and hugs*
+HUGHUGHUG+ I'm so sorry for your losses. I have been there, myself, losing a beloved pet.