srelletaseret (srelletaseret) wrote in note_to_dog,

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To my sweet little barkers

My dear sweet little barkers,
    You are such a joy to have, all four of you.  I love watching you play and sleep and sleep and play.  But I must talk to you about your barking.  I don't mind that you, Babette with your stubby legs and barrel body, bark at Charlie, Yoda, and Olivia when they run and wrestle.  It's rather enduring.  I don't mind that you all go crazy when someone strange comes to the door and rings the door bell.  It's rather entertaining to see if you scared the stranger away or to see if they decided to stand their ground three feet away from the front door.  I can even tolerate the frenzied barking when the mailman comes, though I'd rather you not do that.  I understand.  It is the job of a dog to go crazy when the mailman comes.  But must you watch and wait for the mail truck?  Really, it does take the mailman some time to get to our house.  She can't hear you from so far away.

   And let me remind you how much I love each and every one of you.  I however, would prefer that you cut back on your barking.  For instance, not every truck is a delivery truck.  There's no need to bark at every truck, and car for that matter.  Maybe wait to bark when you SEE the truck and not hear the truck.  You'll find you're quite mistaken about what kind of truck it is when you just go by sound.  I can understand that you feel the need to bark at the dogs that people walk down our street.  Okay, I can put up with that.  It'd be great if you'd stop barking when I tell you, but I can put up with this.  But you people KNOW that at 7:30 am and 3 pm people, especially kids who like to make weird noises, will be passing our house because they are going to and returning from school.  You know that they will pass and they shouldn't be strangers anymore.

    And let me remind you that we have neighbors, and these neighbors like to hang out in their backyards.  Olivia, I'm talking to you.  There's no need to go ballistic if our neighbor decides to do some yard work or call for her lost kitty.  Neighbors are not strangers.  No need to torture them with your high pitched howling.  Also, we do have neighbor dogs.  That doesn't mean you have to bark every time Max next door barks.  That poor dog is all alone when his family is at work and stuck outside.  He needs something to do.  There's no need to join him.

    Please take the hint that your barking is getting on my nerves when you feel that spray of water and the word, "no".  You all know what "no" means.  Please stop when I ask, that would be quite kind of you.  And I'd feel like you respect my alpha dog authority.  Just give me that one illusion.  So if you feel that spray of water, please cease from barking the first time.  I know you don't like it and I don't like doing it.  Also, I hate the smell of wet dog.  Sometimes I think I'm punishing myself.

     You are sweet kind dogs, all four of you, even you, Yoda, who likes to growl at everyone.  I love you all.  Just please show me your love by cutting back on the barking.  Thank you.
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